Stand Up

Ever heard the saying, "The Lord works in mysterious ways"?  Unfortunately that is just a saying.  But I've been thinking about it a lot here lately because of the tools God is using in my life to speak to me...some things you just wouldn't believe.  So, I checked out some references and found this to be very a very comforting verse that can actually relate to the old saying.

The LORD replied, "Look around at the nations; look and be amazed! For I am doing something in your own day, something you wouldn't believe even if someone told you about it."  Habakkuk 1:5

The definition of the word mysterious is:

1 : a : of, relating to, or constituting mystery     

    b : exciting wonder, curiosity, or surprise while baffling   efforts to comprehend or identify

2 : stirred by or attracted to the inexplicable

 



To me...the second part of the definition "baffling efforts to comprehend" and "inexplicable" is exactly what this verse is trying to say.  The Lord does things that we don't even believe when someone tells us. 



Okay I can't lie...he's not bad lookin!!!



 



Wellllllll...I bet you wouldn't believe that I have been touched by a song.  You probably can believe that.  But how about if I told you God spoke to me through an EMINEM song???

 

Yeah, now you're wondering. 

 

"Not Afraid" by Eminem, quickly became one of my favorite songs just after hitting the air.  But it wasn't until last night and today that I truly listened to what he was saying.  Don't get me wrong...he curses and uses some vulgar references, but the main lyrics of the song are mind boggling.

 

I was having a discussion this week with someone who couldn't relate to where I had been in life.  And I don't think this person truly understood that just because I WAS a coke addict, an alcoholic, and had pre-marital sex doesn't mean that I can't be a good witness.  I started thinking about our conversation.  At my church, Foothills Community Church, everyone on staff has been through some serious hell in their lives.  Most staff members didn't get saved until their early to mid twenties.  The people that come to our church are of the community.  Most of them don't listen to Christian music or have dressy clothes.  A lot of them cuss (or they did until God got a hold of them).  And I would say most, if not all of them have done drugs, had sex, gotten drunk, etc.  One of our pastors always says..."Everyone's got stuff".  For me personally, even as a Christian, I still deal with my STUFF on a daily basis.  I am a human.  So I just want to clarify that just because I listen to this music and actually like it or just because you like this music too, doesn't mean you're not a Christian.  I honestly listen to music more for the beat than the lyrics.  But these lyrics hit me hard.   And I would like to share the most hard hitters with you now.

 

"I'll never let you down again, I'm back.  I promise to never go back on that promise."

 

>>For me that is some good stuff because I have let so many people down in my life.  I know I have.  It hurts to think of all the people I have disappointed.  But like it says "I'm back."  I can't promise that I'm not going to screw up.  But I can and do promise that I'm not going back to living the life I lived.  The Lord has delivered me from that. 

 

"But I think I'm still tryna figure this crap out.  Thought I had it mapped out but I guess I didn't."

 

>>I'm not perfect.  I thought that nothing could hurt me.  I thought I had my life figured out.  But "I guess I didn't".  So now, I'm figuring things out.  I'm not doing it alone, but I am doing it.

 

"It was my decision to get clean, I did it for me.  Admittedly I probably did it subliminally for you.  So I could come back a brand new me, you helped see me through.  And don't even realize what you did, believe me you."

>>This statement I actually would like to say to my parents.  They don't understand that just because I went off the right path WAY deep into the wilderness DOES NOT MEAN they didn't raise me right.  I've said it a thousand times and I'll continue to say it until it sinks in...If it was not for the way my parents had raised me, I would not be alive today.  If it was not for my dad doing daily devotionals with my family, I wouldn't have turned back to Christ, because I wouldn't have known who Christ was.  If it was not for the way my mother respected my father, I would not be trying to relearn how to respect a man.  If it was not for my family and their influence on me as a child, when all hope was lost, I would have given up; if I had given up, in all honesty, I would not be here now.  Yes, I have done a lot of bad things.  Yes, if I had died I would have gone to hell.  But not now.  NOT now.  I can't really think of a way to rephrase what Eminem says right here because its exactly what I would say.  I made the choice to get clean.  But if I want to be honest with myself, I can't say I didn't do it also to get my family and my life back.  Mom and Dad, you don't realize what you did when I was a child.  Thank you.

 

Now...these are my last two favorite parts of this song.

 

"I'm not afraid to take a stand.  Everybody come take my hand.  We'll walk this road together, through the storm.  Whatever weather, cold or warm.  Just let you know that, you're not alone.  Holla if you feel that you've been down the same road"

 

>>Pretty self explanitory.  I'm here.  I'm writing.  I'm putting myself and everything I've been through out there for the world to see.  I'm here.  If you need someone, call on me, cause I'm just going to turn around and call on Him on your behalf.  Together...we'll get through this...with Him.

"And I just can't keep living this way.  So starting today, I'm breaking out of this cage.  I'm standing up, Imma face my demons.  I'm manning up, Imma hold my ground.  I've had enough, now I'm so fed up.  Time to put my life back together right now."

 

>>I came to a point in my life...well like a month ago...that I realized, I can't keep living like this.  I mean I got clean a long time ago.  But I was still living a desperate life : desperate for a man, desperate for a new car, a new apartment, a new job.  When I turned 20, it was time to stand up and hit my life head on.  It was time for me to be DESPERATE for Christ.  That's when I started this blog; that's when I started my journey on putting my life back together and learning to...